So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just come out here and I will go home with you...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
