never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
