BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
