Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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