We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
