I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
