I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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