Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
