You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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