He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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