We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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