I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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