Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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