I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
