she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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