so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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