I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I need water and some morals
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
