Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
