well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
