Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize