Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
