i barfeds in our rink
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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