also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
