I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
