I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
