Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
