OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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