Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
