Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
