The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The ass gains better be worth it
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