people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
