She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
