I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
