My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
