Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
