I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
