Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize