I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
