I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
