If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
