Ketchup is God's man juice
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
