Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think a kid would responsible me up
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
