i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
