im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The best revenge is premature balding
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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