Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
