Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
