Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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