you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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