Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
