god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
