You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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