Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
