Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I love you.
Bad choice
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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