school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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