about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
