I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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