i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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