The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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