I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
