I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize